Big Ideas!!!

So here is my big revelation: I am missing something exciting in my day-to-day life. In praying and trying to figure out what it is, I realized that I do not miss teaching in schools. I also desire something more complex and exciting than administrative work, even though it is something I do really well. Hind sight is always 20/20, and I'm not quite there yet, but I believe that God wants me to be doing more with teenagers on a day-to-day basis.

Ever since I left high school myself, I have gone back to work with my own youth group, I have volunteered at 3 other churches working with the youth programs on a regular basis, and I've worked a non-religious youth summer conference. Some of my very best memories from the last few years are from trips with teenagers and experiences in helping other people.

So, all that to say, I am praying and looking for the next step that will allow me to work more with teenagers in a very real way. I don't know if that even means a new job for me, yet, but I am open to the idea that I may have to be patient for a while. It may mean more intense volunteering commitments before I can even get a job. It may mean another non-profit environment like a tutoring program or a crisis center for teens. It may mean more involvement in church youth programs. It could even mean less 9-to-5 work and more private oboe lessons, which would be exciting. I don't really know. But I am willing to do whatever God has in store, and I hope I don't have to wait too long to know what that is.

Lots of my friends and family have been announcing big changes lately, and for some reason, in the midst of all that, I realized it was okay to be scared and jump into something major without knowing the direction or purpose!

Now my plan is to check out the job market in all kinds of cities and fields and wait for the right Next Step. Right. Sounds easy enough.

ARGGHHH!

I'm only logging on out of pure frustration and anxiety! I'm so close to a small piece of understanding about my next steps, and yet I still have NO IDEA!

Ready for Change

For the past several months, I have been wondering and praying about what the future will be like for me. When Chris and I first moved to Nashville, my big priority was to find a Job That Paid The Rent. I did that, but it wasn't what I expected. Through a bizarre and frustrating series of events, I could find no teaching job at a public school in the entire county. (I could go into more detail, but it makes you want to line up at the county's door and bat the school Superintendent in the head.) I found a job in the newspaper for a Parish Secretary at a church. I still HATE that job title to this day because it makes me sound like a white-haired old lady who still uses a typewriter, which I can assure you, I am not. I have now been there for 3 1/2 years and have learned a lot. I've loved working at a church and at a non-profit, because even on the bad days you know that the ultimate purpose for your being there is always worthy. But I can only be a secretary for so long before I crave something different.

So what's next? I feel like the timing is almost here. Not that change will happen on its own, but that I am almost in tune with what God has in store for the next chapter of my life. I can almost reach it with my fingertips . . .

Christmas Spirit

I have to say that I am totally in the Christmas spirit this week - ready for the arrival of a special and beautiful day, ready for family to come in from out of town, ready for delicious food and big celebrations, and ready for this air of peace that seems to be settling over the office in the midst of our busiest season of the year. No, I don't work at Santa's workshop, I work at a church. Sometimes, it feels about the same!

Last year I never got into the Christmas spirit. Advent came and went without me ever having a moment to enjoy the season or the spirit of the holidays. I feel for people who work at other churches and temples, post offices, and shops. I can really appreciate what it's like to feel so pressured that all you want to do is make it to January.

I'm not sure what the difference is this year, but I know that it has helped me work harder, relax more after work, be more intentional in prayer and receiving God's peace, and celebrating small joys of the Christmas season. Yay God!

I hope everyone out there will remember to take small moments everyday to remember what the season of Advent is all about.

Christmas Season Fasting

Just noticing how all the blogs I follow tend to slow down dramatically over the Christmas season. Not exactly a huge surprise. Myself, included.

Ciao, kids!

Mmm...reading

On our trip last week to Disney World and Colorado (I know, they're not exactly on the way to each other...), I got to read two entire books!!! Which is super-exciting, if you're me.

Le Divorce, by Diane Johnson Yet another book-turned-movie, this novel was easy to read, although I cannot fathom how it would have made an enjoyable film. Maybe that's what I don't know anyone who's seen the movie. It is ultimately about the differences between French and American cultures about identity and family. This quote is about consumerism, which is why it caught my eye, and it is the kind of thing that just begs for conversation:

"I admire the French for their cheerful acquisitiveness, their respect for the creations of man's hand," said Ames Everett, who had come to tea.

"Yes, the French love things more for their beauty or their totemic significance than for their value," Roxie agreed.

"Whereas Americans affect disdain for material objects, as if it weren't quite nice to collect, or have," Ames Everett said. "Yet they are great consumers. The French are materialists without being consumers. I respect that."

Julia & Julia, by Julie Powell I have not seen this movie, but I can tell you that the book was easy to read and enjoyable. Certainly not life-changing, although the project that led to Julie Powell's blog and book was life-changing for her. There is one fabulous bit from the end that I wanted to share:

Julia taught me what it takes to find your way in the world. It's not what I thought it was. I thought it was about--I don't know, confidence or will or luck. Those are all some good things to have, no question. But there's something else, something that these things grow out of.

It's joy.

I am a person who easily finds inspiration in the written word, and I am also a person who is searching for a path. Not something so unreachable as a goal or purpose, the answer and solution to living life at its fullest. But something small that indicates I'm doing all the right things, and that I'm being receptive to what God has for me in the world. This excerpt from Julie & Julia inspires me in that way and reminds me that the biggest influences in a person's life are often directed from inside themselves - a place we often forget to look.

Silent Films & Shel Silverstein

Last night, Chris and I were invited to attend a concert by Tom Trenney, an organist from Lincoln, Nebraska. He is very accomplished at improvisation, and the highlight of the program was the showing of two silent movies, accompanied by organ improvisation! The acting and music were truly funny, and the whole audience laughed through both films.

The other special part of the evening was an improvisation of Shel Silverstein poems. He is one of my all-time favorite poets, and I was so sad to hear that he had died a few years ago. Tom Trenney read three poems: Magic Carpet, Forgotten Language, and Dancing Pants, and did a short improvisation on each. As he said at the performance, his goal was to convey them like Silverstein would have if he were a musician instead of a poet. His creativity was fun and exciting, and I hope that he will publish and record a whole set of miniatures based on Silverstein's work!

Overall the concert was completely enjoyable in every way (except for some rude concert-goers), and I was thrilled to be able to witness such a large amount of integration of art forms. When music, film, and poetry are combined, each art form enhances the beauty and creativity of the other, creating a truly unique and wholesome experience. This is how art should always be!

PS-I highly recommend watching the silent movie, One Week, starring Buster Keaton. It is the story of a couple during their first week of marriage - and yes, it was a LONG week!