My 9.11 Story

All the remembrances and articles about 9.11 make me want to share my own story.  On September 11, 2001, I was a high school senior coasting through my second week of the year at West Springfield High School, just a few miles south of DC.  Everyone in the community had a family member or family friend who worked in DC - that is just the nature of that community.

My first class of the morning finished up just a few minutes before 9:00am.  At my school we had a morning break until 9:25 or so (I can't remember anymore).  Being the major geek that I am, I spent my breaks in the band room, which also happened to be the location of my next class.  The orchestra class had just finished up with a substitute teacher - they had been watching a movie.  As the movie popped out of the player, we watched some of the earliest images of the first of the World Trade Center towers engulfed in smoke.  Literally, as we watched the coverage of the first crash, we watched on the screen as the second plane flew into the other tower (9:02am). Clearly, this was more than an accident, and even the band director sat down and starting watching with us. 

As we got closer to class time, more students started coming in and watching TV.  While everyone normally would have been practicing and goofing off, most people were talking it all in and talking about the news.  The bell rang (9:25am...ish), and we were obviously having an unusual day.  There was no move to begin rehearsing - by then all eyes were glued.  Of course this whole time the giant red bar across the bottom of screen flashed and read, "Breaking News."  And then...it got even stranger. 

I distinctly remember sincere confusion when the news anchor said the program was being interrupted with more breaking news (9:37am).  And I thought, "But this is already breaking news. Is this a joke?  Is she just slow to catch on?"  Images of the Pentagon flashed across the screen.   It actually took me several minutes to realize that something else had happened, and very close to home.  Immediately after the truth sank in and conversation erupted.  People were on their cell phones frantically trying to call parents.  Within minutes land lines and cellphone lines were jammed, and students were literally panicking about their parents who worked at the Pentagon. My friends were using the teacher's phone to try to reach their parents. Some were so overwhelmed that they spent the entire class period in his office. I remember that the school principle made an announcement over the intercom, saying the school secretary would deliver messages from parents, but that lines were too jammed to even attempt making a phone call out of the building.  

There was a lot of stunned silence and crying that day.  I actually didn't have any classes that day after my first period, even though we all went through the motions.  I would learn later that the plane crashed into the Army "side" of the Pentagon (each side is devoted to a different branch of the military).  It was under renovation, so thankfully fewer people were in the building than under normal circumstances. Because of this coincidental project, my dad, who should have been working in the Pentagon, was actually in a temporary office area on another side of town.  Also, the new construction, which was influenced by the Oklahoma City bombings, enhanced the structure and safety of the building in the event of an attack and was almost complete.  We were lucky that the attackers not only chose the emptiest area of the building, but that they chose the area likely to sustain the least damage. 

Schools were closed the next day.

Even though it was a school day, I had the unusual perspective of being a 16-year-old who saw the events unfold live. I am fortunate to not know anyone personally who was injured or killed in the attacks.  But I would also argue that all students, and especially the other teenagers in the DC area, were forever influenced by the events of the day.  

They shaped a generation.

Death by Suburb - Control

To clarfiy on the previous post bashing married couples with 2.5 children, one dog, and a home with a well-manicured lawn, it might be prudent to reiterate the fact that the author of Death by Suburb is not actually targeting suburbs (and neither am I). He is targeting the image of the "perfect" American lifestyle that directly conflicts with many Christian ideals.

In the pursuit of our current way of living, many of us have lost touch with the purpose of life itself. One example of this is control. In the worlds we create for ourselves, we desire orderliness and functionality. We have calendars to control our day, we have calendars to control our diets, we have logs to control our exercise—the list goes on. It is naturally difficult to invite in the holy spirit, the mystery of faith, and our own interaction with an intangible God when it is clearly the opposite of what we strive for in the rest of our lives.

As Goetz points out, "true spirituality is the opposite of control." The irony is that in order to have the perfect spiritual life many of us desire, we have to relinquish control of our lives to God. In order to give up control, we have allow God to speak and work in our lives in unexpected ways. (If we are busy maintaining control, we won't be open to the possibility of the still, small voice of God.) Stillness, prayer, and physical retreat from our worldly surroundings are all ways to begin the long, slow process of giving up control. Eventually, we will come to realize that we have never been in control. Our well-maintained, picture perfect lives are just a facade—covering up something much bigger and much more exciting.

Death by Suburb

I've just started reading David Goetz's new book, Death by Suburb: How to keep the suburbs from killing your soul. I already identify with the author when he verbally rolls his eyes at young mothers in their tank-sized SUVs, criticizes acclaimed schools for their misplaced emphasis on winning instead of learning, and identifies the major problem of neighborhood churches as participation, not soulful communion with God.

When I first moved to Nashville, I was overwhelmed with the sense of "me-ness." Everywhere I went, people seemed remarkably interested in their status among others. People buy huge fancy trucks and SUVs not because they need them for the massive horsepower they are professed to have but because they exhibit status. Of course that sentiment is true in thousands of other ways in this city and all over the country. Nashville is only a sample of the self-centered nature of our society.

The purpose of Goetz's book is not to criticize but to offer solutions. He challenges the reader to take a step back from the toxic air of our surroundings and live deeply in the moment, which he calls, "in the thickness." He encourages us to resist the temptation to follow Jesus by sacrificing more, by committing ourselves more, or by escaping our surroundings. (While these are all valuable disciplines, they are also susceptible to comparison and evaluation by people around us. If we do them out of ego, then they are not truly offerings.) Instead, we should try to be more present in out day-to-say encounters with the world. It is in this thicker life in which we are "alive to God and alive to others."

Small Things: Big Impact

I spent the last weekend with about 55 middle and high schoolers having an amazing time. We were on a church retreat at the local YMCA campsite. Just being around that many students is exciting! I think it's impossible not to feed off of their wild energy. However, if you are an adult, it is impossible to keep up 100% of the time. Througout the weekend, there were some small perks that helped keep me refreshed and renewed. I share these in case you or someone you know spends some extended time with students. These small ideas make a big impact on the lives of adults, allowing us to spend all of our energy on making a big impact on youth.

1. Adult time. We ate most of our meals together as adults. And most of the time, we didn't talk about the students! It was just nice to have some adult conversation.

2. Student time. We spent a lot of time walking the mile or so from one activity to the next. That was the perfect way to let the students goof off, run around, talk, and work out some energy. We spent less time reigning them in because they had more time to be teenagers.

3. Adult treats. One of our chaperones ran out early in the morning to seek the fruit of the gods: Starbucks coffee. He brought back a hot carafe of the liquid gold for the adults on our last morning. Caffeine never tasted so good. The thoughtfulness of the gesture was also something special!

4. Freedom. This retreat offered a lot of ways to be flexible and go along with the mood or vibe of the students. This allowed the adults to goof off, play games, talk, or do whatever was best to create an open and safe environment for relationship-building and honest conversation. That freedom also helped us address any issues that came up along with the way-without being micromanaged. Common sense goes a long way!

5. Reasonable wake-up and lights-out times. 'Nuff said.

Spring Has Sprung!

Bountiful spring CSA box.

Tomatoes! Grow, babies, Grow!

Our cute little tent on its inaugural trip.

Beautiful view.

Happy campers!

Happy Canine.

If you look closely you'll see her leash's loose ends tied in a knot. She was so excited that she chewed through the leash in the first ten minutes at the campsite. Thank goodness for the screwdriver and hammer in the car that helped me take the whole thing apart and reassemble it - DRAMA!

Life Under a Rock

For the past couple of months I have been on an unintentional anti-news phase. I don't listen to NPR in the car, I definitely don't read more than one news article a week, and I don't watch any news programs on TV. It leaves me uninformed, illiterate about current events and . . . refreshed. Something about unplugging from faraway places means that I am left to focus more intentionally on my own life. I am more aware of my surroundings, more in tune with my thoughts and I feel closer to God.

There is one school of thought that says that any smart, educated young person needs to be knowledgeable and articulate about the goings-on in the world. And yet there is a part of me that realizes that when I spend too much time focused on issues and concerns outside of my small life, I become disconnected from myself.

I may have been the last person in the world to learn that Joplin, MO is recovering from the horrible aftermath of the deadliest tornado in decades. I don't have a clue what the White House or Congress is dealing with this week. And I don't even know if my old favorite news anchors are still on the air.

But this is what I do know: Today, the air outside smelled like summer - hot, heavy with moisture and the fragrance of grass clippings. I relish brief moments during the day when I can steal time for a quick reflection or prayer. I remember old friends more often. And I am surrounded by people I trust.

So there's something important to be said for a person who spends time keeping up with the world, as long as we don't use that as an excuse to avoid a little introspection.

Airport Bloopers

Our most recent trip to visit family resulted in some of the wildest flight adventures I have experienced! As a result, here is my Very Official Airport Cheat Sheet:

Best for Killing Time: Tampa

Least-Friendly Staff: Reagan National

Most Thorough TSA: Reagan National

Longest Distance Between Gates: Miami

Most Helpful Golf Cart Drivers: Miami

Best Appearance: Nashville

Friendliest Staff: Tampa

Shortest TSA Line (read: no line): Tampa

Worst Airport Food: Miami

Worst Potential for Overnight Stays: Tampa

Best Potential for Overnight stays: Reagan National (thanks mom)

I will also add that during this trip we ran to our gates on two different occasions. While running in airports, there is no shame about running lop-sided because of bags falling off your shoulder or your dainty shoes sliding on the floor. The act alone also instantly bonds you to other runners, with whom I felt some camaraderie as we passed them on our race against the clock. I'm sure that people with overnight layovers do the same. Fortunately, the Mom & Dad of the Year saved us from almost-certain public humiliation by doing a middle of the night Shuttle & Nap Service. While I am SO grateful for that, I am still curious as to the airport shenanigans that might have been in the dreary wee hours of the morning.

Bonfire

Two weeks ago, we took 30 7th Graders on a church confirmation retreat. It was awesome and full of special moments. Here is one of my favorites:

Every student took some time alone to write out their confessions on paper.

The papers were collected in a large paper bag.

The bag was thrown in the bonfire.

While we watched it light up, a student next to me said, "Oh no - I forgot to write something down."

"That's okay," I replied.

"But I didn't get it in the fire - will it still be forgiven?"

"Anything you confess to God will be forgiven, even if you don't write it down!"

"Really!?"

"Absolutely."

The student looks back into the flames and nods to himself. "That's so cool."

Confessions

I have a confession to make. I have turned down the opportunity to participate in . . .

. . . my community's garden.

It's true! My apartment complex, which has plenty of green space, has agreed to allow residents to use some of the green space for a community garden! One very go-get-'em kind of guy appealed to the manager, who probably had to climb the Ladder of Authority before giving the all-clear on this project.

What ARE community gardens, you ask? They are gardens built in space which is specifically designated by the landowners for that use. It could be privately or commercially owned space, like mine, or it could be city-owned space (which are in major cities across the US). The space is divided up, and each participant gets to cultivate the land anyway he chooses: flowers, herbs, fruits/veggies. It can be ideal for urbanites who have no backyard to cultivate on their own. It is also great for people who want to experiment with their budding green thumbs!

A community garden in Vancouver, BC.

The plots in our new garden are about 5' square. That's not a ton of space, but after strolling through today, I see that my neighbors have squeezed veggies and herbs into every available inch. I'm excited to watch them grow!

So while I'm a HUGE fan of this community-enriching program, I also know my own weaknesses. I don't have a green thumb (no matter what you think based on the previously entry). The garden, which is just a short walk from my apartment, is also just far enough for me to forget to check on it daily, and it is too far for a watering can to be practical. As a girl I loved to visit my grandparents and help with their garden, which was large enough to grow hefty amounts of about 20 varieties of vegetables. I have a good sense of the work committment! All that to say I'm not ready yet.

But for those who embark on such a project, I wish you a healthy sense of community spirit and a green thumb!

Spring is here!

My Awesome Spring Weekend

Fire is not so photogenic, but what you see is our homey fire at a pavilion in one of the local parks. Hot dogs provided. Bring Your Own Stick.

The first grilled steak of spring. Paired with a green salad, roasted sweet potatoes, and a roll. Dinner in the fresh air by candlelight.

We lugged all of our pots, dirt and plants down to a public area where we could make a mess in peace. Lucy helped. We earned the good neighbor award by not sweeping tons of dirt onto our downstairs neighbor's balcony. I hope they appreciated the sacrifice!

Ready. Set. GROW!

Young seeds getting nestled in.

Here's to hoping my green thumb emerges this growing season!

Race to Nowhere

A local school recently hosted a free screening of the new film, Race to Nowhere.

The mother-turned-director had children who were physically and emotionally spent trying to cope with the demands of a typical American schooling. After 8 hours of school, kids go home to 2-6 more hours of homework. They are also expected to participate in daily sports practices, be accomplished artists and musicians, do community service, and still get sleep at night. The film is a call to action for teachers, parents, schools and students to pursue methods of education that are beneficial to the whole person.

For many parents, it will be an eye-opener to learn how many students abuse drugs to stay awake on a regular homework night. In a recent study of 5,000 students, only 3% had NEVER cheated. The battle for them is just to cope. The film gives a constant stream of factoids about the developmental abilities of students at different ages and how ill-fitted our education system is for the needs of those students.

The sticking point for me was when a high school teacher said, "When did schools gain the right to tell students how live after the bell rings?" And conversely, I wondered when parents gained the right to tell teachers how to teach students in their own classrooms.

This is an issue for everyone - not just parents. It is worth your time to find a public screening and help your community change schools for the better. www.racetonowhere.com

Unique Books for Unique Readers

Hungry readers like me are constantly in search of another powerful story to read. I always have about 20 books patiently waiting my attention and then am disappointed when a book proves less-worthy than it could have been. So I thought I would share a few different kinds of novels that I have come across - novels not written in the traditional form. If you know of others, please share!

EDIBLE STORIES by Mark Kurlansky

"In these linked stories, Mark Kurlansky reveals the bond that can hold people together, tear them apart, or make them become vegan: food. Through muffins or hot dogs, an indigenous Alaskan fish soup, a bean curd Thanksgiving turkey or potentially toxic crème brulee, a rotating cast of characters learns how to honor the past, how to realize you're not in love with someone any more, and how to forgive. These women and men meet and eat and love, leave and drink and in the end, come together in Seattle as they are as inextricably linked with each other as they are with the food they eat and the wine they drink."

I am not a short-story reader, but I was fascinated by this colelction of 16 stories that I stumbled across in the library last week. The author carefully crafts 16 entirely unique stories, but each one has a character or prop or location that is somehow connected to each other story. You have to pay very close attention to catch some of the connections. The individual stories are beautifully written considering they span such a wide range of topics and settings and the entire collection is pieced together perfectly. What a nice surprise!

THE GUERNSEY LITERARY AND POTATO PEEL PIE SOCIETY by Mary Ann Shaffer, Annie Barrows

"As Juliet and her new correspondent exchange letters, Juliet is drawn into the world of this man and his friends—and what a wonderfully eccentric world it is. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society—born as a

spur-of-the-moment alibi when its members were discovered breaking curfew by the Germans occupying their island—boasts a charming, funny, deeply human cast of characters, from pig farmers to phrenologists, literature lovers all."

LIFE ON THE REFRIGERATOR DOOR by Alice Kuipers

"Heartfelt, touching, and unforgettable, Life on the Refrigerator Door is a glimpse into the lives of mothers and daughters everywhere. In this deeply to

uching novel told through a series of notes written from a loving mother and her devoted fifteen-year-old daughter, debut author Alice Kuipers deftly captures the impenetrable fabric that connects mothers and daughters throughout the world. Moving and rich with emotion, Life on the Refrigerator Door delivers universal lessons about love in a wonderfully simple and poignant narrative."

LIKE WATER FOR CHOCOLATE by Laura Esquivel

"Earthy, magical, and utterly charming, this tale of family life in turn-of-the-century Mexico became a best-selling phenomenon with its winning blend of poignant romance and bittersweet wit.

The number one bestseller in Mexico and America for almost two years, and subsequently a bestseller around the world, "Like Water For Chocolate" is a romantic, poignant tale, touched with moments of magic, graphic earthiness, bittersweet wit - and recipes. "

There is an endless stream of novels which include recipes in each chapter in the last few years. However, Like Water for Chocolate actually crafts the recipe language to reflect upon the content in the chapter, and this is an element I think most food-related novels lack. The usual tendency is to write about seafood (for example) and then leave the reader with a seafood recipe at the end of the chapter. I think that's fine. It's not neat, moving, exciting, or thought-provoking; it's just fine. But if colorful food narratives pique your interest, then you will enjoy this novel.

Learning from Hasidim

About 2 years ago, I had the opportunity to hear author Lauren Winner speak (Girl Meets God, Mudhouse Sabbath). During her talk, she recommended a book called Holy Days by Lis Harris to give those of us on the outside a more complete picture of life inside Hasidic Judaism. That book has been sitting on my bookshelf since then, just waiting for me to dive in.

The reader quickly learns that Lis Harris contacts and befriends a particular Hasidic family, learning firsthand about their day-to-day lives which are so different from ours. Part of the book was devoted to the history of the different sects of Hasidim, and I'll admit I completely glazed over those pages! I was far more interested in the lives and the spiritual perspectives of the people she met. I want to share some quotes and thoughts from the text I had that I felt were particularly insightful:

There is a celebration on the Jewish holiday "called Rejoicing of the Torah, a day when the final portion of the year's reading of the Torah is completed...with spirited singing, dancing, and merrymaking that frequently last all night." (Do people in my own church even know when we complete the reading of the Bible? Do they even care? Yet in this community, it is a thing to be outwardly celebrated!)

The author has a conversation with the mother of the Hasidic family (who is a convert and used to have a life much like yours or mine), in which she is asked how she feels having her activities restricted so much on the Sabbath. (During the Sabbath, they must refrain from any activity that creates something new in the world - from my limited understanding, this is to better reflect on God as the ultimate creator. This includes cooking, writing, repairing, playing an instrument, turning on an electrical appliance, traveling, handling money, etc.) In response to the question, the mother of the family says, "I feel that I'm getting a break . . . Wouldn't you feel pleased if you were permitted, even obliged, to put aside your everyday burdens and chores? . . . Being a Jew and fulfilling the commandments is my life . . . It takes up all our time."

Again, regarding the Sabbath: "What happens when we stop working and controlling nature? . . . When we cease interfering with the world we are acknowledging that it is God's world."

On the liveliness of the Torah: "Throughout the day, I was struck by the familiar even intimate way in which Moshe, Sheina, and the others spoke of Biblical people and places. . . none of the Biblical heroes had lost their luster."

Regarding the separation of the sexes at worship: "We are not striving for togetherness in shul. My relationship to God is private. It's not where I sit that counts but the spirit of my prayer."

My inspiration from this book comes from learning about people who are completely immersed in life as a child of God. Quite literally, nothing they do is without greater purpose. They do not shop for food if it is not the kind of food that pleases God for them to eat. They do not leave the house if it pleases God for them to stay home and sing and pray with family. If only the lives of modern Christians could be so full of intent and meaning.

Thankful Thursdays

This week I am thankful for:

• creative meals out of a bare pantry
• a surprisingly warm weekend and the time to spend outside enjoying it
• owl sighting in the daytime on the trail
• laughter

Thankful Thursdays

This week, I am thankful for:

• snow. If it's cold and wintry, it ought to be beautiful, too.
• catching up
• having married my best friend
• muffins

Thankful Thursdays

Now that I've survived the holidays and all of the illnesses that came with it, I'm reinstating Thankful Thursdays. This week I'm thankful for:

• knowing my hard work is appreciated
• a 3-day weekend
• 2 days off with my husband (this is more rare than it sounds)
• meetings full of laughter, even when we're all under stress
• time to relax at home and let my creative juices flow
• snow!
• a full shelf of books to read (also not new, but I am flying through books right now)
• my local library and the Friendly Library Guy

As a side note, I am really enjoying a book right now by Lis Harris, who writes about her visits with a Hasidic Jewish family in New York. I love learning more about the Christian faith by studying our Jewish origins.

Things I Learned Over Christmas

My husband and I both in industries that are extremely busy around Christmas - he works in retail, and I work in the church. Between the two of us, we put in 13 hours of work on Christmas Eve. I picked him up after work, we went home, changed, loaded the car, fed the dog, and went off to visit family who were gathered 30 minutes away. We were so exhausted and so stressed without time to recoup, the Christmas holiday was a very different one for us this year.

1. "Doing Christmas" is not nearly as special as time spent relaxing with family.
2. Traditions are important. Old ones, new ones - it doesn't matter. But keep your traditions. It's important for everyone to have something special to look forward to.
3. The best part of exchanging gifts is finding something special for someone else.
4. The best kind of gifts to receive are the kind that encouarge you to spend time with people you love.
5. Going to a worship service at midnight on Christmas Eve is special and should not be missed.
6. The best part of not travelling at Christmas is that you can sleep in your own bed at night, and you don't have to worry about how many pairs of socks you've packed.
7. The worst part is that you don't get to spend as much time with your family.
8. Relaxation is an important part of the holidays. If you are stressed, they are far less enjoyable.

All in all, it was not a bad holiday (even though this may sound that way), but it was also not one of the most special. I am thankful to start fresh this year!